90% of What We Do Is Unconscious: Awakening to the Hidden Rhythms of Our Soul
Living from the Unseen
Have you ever wondered why the same patterns keep repeating in your life? Why the same kinds of relationships appear, the same conflicts surface, or the same inner struggles resurface no matter how much you try to change?
Psychological and neuroscientific research suggests that up to 90–95% of our thoughts, decisions, and behaviors unfold unconsciously. This means that most of what drives us happens beneath the surface of awareness.
We like to imagine we are rational beings, fully in charge of our choices. Yet the truth is subtler and more humbling: much of our daily life is guided by hidden programs—beliefs, strategies, and emotional memories formed long ago.
The good news is that what is unconscious can be brought into awareness. And once seen, it can be transformed.
The Silent 90%: Where Our Patterns Are Born
Childhood Adaptations
Our unconscious is not random. It is a living archive of how we learned to survive. As children, we were completely dependent on our environment. When our needs for love, safety, or recognition were not met, we adapted.
A child who felt unseen may unconsciously conclude: “I must perform to deserve love.”
A child who experienced rejection may silently believe: “I am not lovable.”
A child who lived with chaos may decide: “I can only trust myself.”
These unconscious conclusions are what we call life statements—deep, often hidden beliefs about ourselves and the world. They may not be true, but because they are unconscious, they act like unquestioned realities.
Defense Strategies
Alongside life statements, we developed defense strategies: the behavioral patterns that kept us safe.
Some of us learned to please and comply.
Others took refuge in control or achievement.
Some withdrew to protect themselves from disappointment.
These strategies worked brilliantly in childhood. They helped us survive emotionally and sometimes even physically. But as adults, they become rigid patterns. Instead of protecting us, they hold us back.
Repetition in Adult Life
This is why we often feel stuck. The unconscious keeps re-creating familiar scenarios—not because we want them, but because it knows no other way.
We repeat relationships that echo childhood dynamics.
We fall into the same conflicts at work or with loved ones.
We sabotage our own happiness without understanding why.
Until we bring them to light, these patterns will continue to shape our lives.
The Conscious 10%: A Small but Mighty Flame
Only a fraction—around 10%—of our functioning is conscious. Yet this small percentage carries enormous power. Awareness is the doorway to transformation.
When we begin to pay attention, we can see:
The subtle voice that whispers “I’m not enough.”
The impulse to withdraw or control when intimacy feels threatening.
The familiar cycle of self-criticism that arises when we make a mistake.
Awareness doesn’t instantly erase these patterns. But it loosens their grip. What was automatic becomes a choice.
Think of awareness as a flame in a dark room. Even a small light can reveal what was hidden.
Sacred Attention Therapy: A Path to Awakening
This is the work of Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT): to bring compassionate awareness to the unconscious, so that what once bound us becomes the gateway to freedom.
SAT integrates psychology and spirituality. It honors the patterns we carry while gently guiding us beyond them—toward the authentic self that exists before and beyond conditioning.
How SAT Works
Exploring Life Statements
Together, we uncover the unconscious beliefs that silently shape identity and experience. Recognizing a life statement is often a profound moment—like meeting an old ghost that has been directing your life without your knowledge.
Understanding Defense Strategies
We bring clarity to the protective behaviors that once kept you safe but now keep you limited. Naming and witnessing these strategies opens the possibility of choice.
Recognizing Character Strategies
Rooted in developmental psychology, character strategies describe how different personalities emerge from childhood adaptations. Understanding your strategy helps you see not only your struggles but also your gifts.
Awakening to the Essential Self
Beneath all defenses lies the true self—present, peaceful, unbroken. SAT is not only about healing wounds but also about awakening to this deeper reality.
Why This Work Matters
Bringing unconscious material into awareness is not abstract—it changes lives in tangible ways.
Relationships
You begin to see your partner, family, and friends more clearly, without projecting old wounds onto them. Conflicts soften as awareness replaces reactivity.
Emotional Wellbeing
Anxiety, depression, and self-criticism often arise from unconscious patterns. As these patterns are understood and released, inner space opens for peace and joy.
Clarity and Direction
Choices are no longer driven by hidden fears or compulsions. You can act from authenticity rather than conditioning.
Spiritual Connection
As unconscious identifications dissolve, what remains is presence. Spiritual life unfolds naturally—not as belief, but as lived experience.
The Journey of Awakening
If most of what we do is unconscious, then the journey of becoming conscious is the most important journey we can take. It is the journey from repetition to freedom, from survival to presence, from illusion to authenticity.
Sacred Attention Therapy offers a safe, compassionate, and transformative space for this journey. Through individual sessions, couples work, and retreats, you are supported to bring the unconscious into light, to release what no longer serves you, and to awaken to your true path.
The invitation is simple: turn toward yourself with awareness. Everything begins here.
References
Bargh, J. A., & Chartrand, T. L. (1999). The unbearable automaticity of being. American Psychologist, 54(7), 462–479.
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Wilson, T. D. (2002). Strangers to ourselves: Discovering the adaptive unconscious. Belknap Press of Harvard University Press.
Zaltman, G. (2003). How customers think: Essential insights into the mind of the market. Harvard Business School Press.